Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Sacred, the Beautiful, and the Magical

There is something magical and beautiful about clouds resting around the tops of mountains. It is this beautiful display of earth reaching up to its highest point, and the heavens reaching down to touch the earth. It seems like a scene that would be part of any number of fantasy stories, and here it is, right outside my window, greeting me with beauty.

I was in the temple yesterday, thinking about the sacred things that go on there, and how they go beyond what I would consider magical, and they are truly sacred and special. I've been thinking about magic a lot, as it is a recurring theme in fantasy, and I am drawn towards fantasy for writing, in world creation, and things like that, but not to flashy magic. I guess my perspective is that the kind of magic I would want to write about would all be a matter of perspective, that our world is magical to those who have a different view.

These mountains, the clouds around them, their beautiful is magical and mystical to me. It is the same thing when I find beauty where I do not expect it. I think the most compelling kind of beauty is not the one that is striven for, and created just for that purpose, it is when something else is happening, and it is beautiful beyond the purpose. The mountains are there doing their own thing. The clouds are coming to bring rain and do their own thing. Their union is not planned so that I can look up and see the beauty. It is the same thing with seeing beauty in relationships. Relationships between others or even with myself involved, do not exist so I can admire their beauty. They go on for their own reasons, but there is something so undeniably beautiful that just shines through sometimes.

It makes me think of the concept of shri in yoga, to shine through your pose. The intent of the pose is not beauty. It is work, it is a connection with your body, to help it, to make it feel good, but then when you add shri, there is something beautiful about it.

The magic in this world is not our electronics. It is not our cars, or even our ability to split atoms. I mean, sure, these things are the flashy kind of magic, with instantaneous results, like a light switch. But the true magic of this world is the beauty that comes through things and people fulfilling their purposes in life.

But those things get to be so magical that they almost cross a threshold into the realm of sacred. There are so many magical, sacred, beautiful moments to be experienced in this world. I love finding them.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

The Miracle of Birth, and even more the Miracle of Life

Four years ago, I witnessed a miracle. I watched my niece Prairie be born. It was beautiful. Birth is powerful. I watched my sister, as she pushed this beautiful little baby out, as she labored with her, and how ecstatic she was to have this new life, and I felt part of that too. It was an amazing day.

But amazing as it was, in some ways the greater miracle is the daily things that have come since then. It is the moments of growth, of joy. It is the life that she has lived that has been a miracle, the bright ray of sunshine that she is to so many around her. She loves to snuggle, and she is serious about her dancing, and she loves textures.

4 years ago, an amazing child was born into the world. I love her so very much.

Monday, May 3, 2010


When I find something I want to work on, I tend to plan, I tend to make rules for myself. I want to see a friend more, I make a mental arrangement of how much I would like to see them. And a lot of that I think comes down to a basic distrust of myself to do that which is necessary, or that I will have a sustained desire to do the things I want to do at the moment I make such a decision. So I make a rule, a guideline, whatever.

I think a lot of that stems from the reaction of how I dealt with being depressed when I first got married. Forcing myself to do the things I didn't want to do, because I hoped that they would make me feel better. It is for that reason that I would have marathon baking sessions, and want to have 20 meals worth of food in my freezers, so that if I was depressed, it would not spell the end of eating.

But I've come to the point where I realize that mode of operating is not really necessary anymore. I am generally happy, and feel capable of cooking for myself anytime I want to eat. I will make plans to see my friends if I want to. It is embracing a basic trust in myself, to take each day as it comes, to not sacrifice today for tomorrow, without sacrificing tomorrow for today, living each day to the fullest, with an eye to the future, that I may continue to do so indefinitely.

I like to take time to feel the sensation of my lungs filling up with air, the simple act of taking a breath. It is really an amazing feeling. Every moment of every day I am doing this thing, but it takes noticing it to realize its power. I feel the same way about observing nature and the weather. It goes on all around me anyway, I'll be outside walking around in it, but when I take a moment to notice it, I am almost always inspired by its beauty, in all the varieties it comes in.

I do those things, and I have no rule about them, no goal to do them once each day, or anything like that. It just comes as I anticipate loving the moment I am in, trusting myself, I find that some of the best moments are just taking a moment to notice my breath, or looking to the beautiful world around me.

And so I trust myself for the next moments to come.